I once met a man who trained himself not to dream
What he seems to have seen was a glimpse of everything
He's been painting pictures on canvas since age thirteen
And claims he only exists in the mind of a higher being
And I enjoy his work; mostly scenic landscapes
But each one is focused on an easel where the man paints himself painting himself
And all that's in his visual field
He said this was the only way he could make himself real
Ever since he could remember, he had one nightmare reoccur
But until about ten years ago, it didn't matter. It consisted of loud, distorted sounds echoing off the concrete.
He ran on top of it in attempt to reach a ladder.
Now sometimes, he'd get so close but never touch his destination
Which caused him much frustration 'cause he didn't know what it meant
And by the end of the dream, he saw the scene from a bird's eye
Only to witness his dead body laying on the cement
It was only to witness his dead body laying on the cement
At first it freaked him out, but after a while he grew content
So he thought, "It's just a dream," and kept living his life
Writing his soul on the canvas 'cause it sheds his planet light
And it goes on and on like space and time, ain't nothing odd
It's not that he didn't believe, he just didn't approve of God
His experience was one I couldn't comprehend
'Till I stopped being detective and listened to him as a friend
He said. He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
It was then that he knew he was the art of divinity
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
A brush stroke of the gods made him one note in their symphony
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
He spoke for himself and not the rest of humanity
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
And I realize that I'm not real. God just imagined me
It's like I said
About ten years ago, the event that changed his whole reality
Took place on his monthly trip to the local art gallery
It was there where he studied his contemporaries.
And there where he nearly carried his sanity to a hole and buried it forever
It was a very mysterious day
The place was almost empty
And he got chills down his spine just being present in the scene
On the wall, there was a picture that looked familiar
And when he got close, his heart stopped
cause he saw it was a painting of his dream
It was a painting of his dream
His body on a runway
By a ladder to an airplane with its propellers spinning
Which accounted for the loud noise
The match up was perfect
And that was the day he stopped believing in existing
He resented his creator
I mean, words can't explain
What must have went on in his brain while he stared into a frame
Of a work of art which he created and was at the same time
The mind can't handle that much, it's just insane
It's like reading a book where each words describe your thoughts
And in quotations, it reads whatever you say when you talk
You think it can't happen
But it did happen
I guess there's surprisingly wide cracks in each life's sidewalk
He stumbled upon an answer when he never had a question
And decided to stop dreaming to maintain his mental health
Now he hardly talks to people
Just stays in his basement
Writing infinity, by painting himself
Painting himself
This is a strange universe
Is it all just a blueprint?
In the real universe, is my consciousness useless?
Are we really something a higher intelligence made up?
A figment of imagination colored by a cosmic paintbrush?
Maybe all of our art creates the fate of other beings
Then every character in ever novel thinks it's alive and were just gods
Ruling blindly
Just a theory
I don't know what it means
But that's the story of the man who trained himself not to dream
He once saw a paining that told his whole life story
He witnessed the paradox of the word "existing"
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
He colored his world theirs, and concluded he wasn't living
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
The hidden variable that all that is is art
And when I close my eyes, I see eternity as a story
A God imagined the God that imagined me
And I am God
And so on
And so on
And so on...
Friday
look back
I looked back at my journal from 2007 - to mid 2009. . . and I remember every moment I wrote about. As I read my own words, i feel like I'm reliving everything I felt. I sometimes wonder how absurd it was of me to feel even half of those things. . . but of course, logic tends to leave the thought process of any human in despair. I know that if I would go back to that, not knowing where I would be today...I would've indisputably experienced everything the same way. I'm happy with who I turned out... and I know I have a paramount amount of life to experience...but for a 21 year old, I'd say I've lived a nice amount.
This is who I am. I'm a writer. An artist of sorts. A person who loves everything physical. I feel more than I'll admit.
"don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody"
J.D. Salinger. One of the greatest writers that has ever lived.
This is who I am. I'm a writer. An artist of sorts. A person who loves everything physical. I feel more than I'll admit.
"don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody"
J.D. Salinger. One of the greatest writers that has ever lived.
Thursday
Sounds of my Day # ilosttrack.
- "Happy Birthday Joanie! Now where's the stripper?"
- I don't know how not to love you.
- "She's PREGNANT?!"
- And those who were seem dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
- Hold a true friend with both hands.
- "It makes me mad... EVERYTIME!!!!!"
- Me: "Muuurrrrrr Durrrrrr Huurrrrrrrr"
You: "Do you realize what you've just said?"
- Vic: "Can I see the receipt?"
Joan:"I'm sorry I don't speak Mandarin"
- If i could write you a song and make you fall in love I would already have you up under my arm.
- You have me.
- McKenzie: "Hey, maybe you should write a book."
Tom: "What?"
McKenzie: "Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"
- "Sometimes, my own voice and face and walk annoys me. How can I get away from myself?"
- "Every time I get close to my destination, a good song always comes on shuffle."
- Summer: "You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me."
- "And then Tom met Autumn. Autumn came after Summer. Tom re-evaluated the meaning fate and he thought, could it be mere coincidence? Could it be... real..fate?"
- Elvis: "Why does bubblegum pop when you blow it?"
Joan: "Because the gum runs out of surface area to continue expanding"
Elvis: "No because you can continue to blow it if you introduce the air at a slow and steady pace as opposed to a mass rush of air which would quickly cause it to blow"
Joan: " -___- shut the fuck up."
- Owl: "HOLY SHIT THAT TREE IS EATING THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Skeptical hippo is...skeptical.
- He's an island to discover.
- Chrissy: "JOAN WHO ARE THESE DUMB BITCHES AND CAN I CUT 'EM?!"
- "It was strange to be conscious of another person’s existence, to feel it as a close, urgent necessity; a necessity without qualifications, neither pleasant nor painful, merely final like an ultimatum."
- What good is being famous, if I'm never on your mind?
- Closeout....Paradise?
- idiot: Pants on the ground...pants on the ground...lookin' like a fool with your pants on the groundddd.
- "I get high to balance out the lows."
- "You know why i could fit in there?...Because i'm LITTLE."
- "Maybe i should get my mind back"
"It's just a matter of time."
"Ooof"
- Felicity Fox: "You know, you really are... fantastic."
Mr. Fox:"I try."
- I got nothin.
- "You're a brilliant writer. Can you please write my screen plays when i'm rich and famous?"
- "Will you marry me?"
- shorter and sweeter.
- I don't know how not to love you.
- "She's PREGNANT?!"
- And those who were seem dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
- Hold a true friend with both hands.
- "It makes me mad... EVERYTIME!!!!!"
- Me: "Muuurrrrrr Durrrrrr Huurrrrrrrr"
You: "Do you realize what you've just said?"
- Vic: "Can I see the receipt?"
Joan:"I'm sorry I don't speak Mandarin"
- If i could write you a song and make you fall in love I would already have you up under my arm.
- You have me.
- McKenzie: "Hey, maybe you should write a book."
Tom: "What?"
McKenzie: "Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"
- "Sometimes, my own voice and face and walk annoys me. How can I get away from myself?"
- "Every time I get close to my destination, a good song always comes on shuffle."
- Summer: "You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me."
- "And then Tom met Autumn. Autumn came after Summer. Tom re-evaluated the meaning fate and he thought, could it be mere coincidence? Could it be... real..fate?"
- Elvis: "Why does bubblegum pop when you blow it?"
Joan: "Because the gum runs out of surface area to continue expanding"
Elvis: "No because you can continue to blow it if you introduce the air at a slow and steady pace as opposed to a mass rush of air which would quickly cause it to blow"
Joan: " -___- shut the fuck up."
- Owl: "HOLY SHIT THAT TREE IS EATING THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Skeptical hippo is...skeptical.
- He's an island to discover.
- Chrissy: "JOAN WHO ARE THESE DUMB BITCHES AND CAN I CUT 'EM?!"
- "It was strange to be conscious of another person’s existence, to feel it as a close, urgent necessity; a necessity without qualifications, neither pleasant nor painful, merely final like an ultimatum."
- What good is being famous, if I'm never on your mind?
- Closeout....Paradise?
- idiot: Pants on the ground...pants on the ground...lookin' like a fool with your pants on the groundddd.
- "I get high to balance out the lows."
- "You know why i could fit in there?...Because i'm LITTLE."
- "Maybe i should get my mind back"
"It's just a matter of time."
"Ooof"
- Felicity Fox: "You know, you really are... fantastic."
Mr. Fox:"I try."
- I got nothin.
- "You're a brilliant writer. Can you please write my screen plays when i'm rich and famous?"
- "Will you marry me?"
- shorter and sweeter.
Sunday
Sooner than Later
It was important to know that he existed in the world;
to wonder how he had awakened this morning;
of how he moved;
of what he thought;
of how he is hers.
It is important to not fear devotion;
to ponder a distant future that could be;
to not fear risking everything because if you don't, you risk even more.
It is important to find beauty in your motions;
to see things that others do not;
to adore blindly and willfully;
to know no limits.
It is important to have a consciousness of his soul;
to feel it as close as my thoughts;
to know no end.
It is important to not fear trepidation if it should come;
to know challenges make bonds stronger;
to feel comfort in all my days;
to know she is his.
to wonder how he had awakened this morning;
of how he moved;
of what he thought;
of how he is hers.
It is important to not fear devotion;
to ponder a distant future that could be;
to not fear risking everything because if you don't, you risk even more.
It is important to find beauty in your motions;
to see things that others do not;
to adore blindly and willfully;
to know no limits.
It is important to have a consciousness of his soul;
to feel it as close as my thoughts;
to know no end.
It is important to not fear trepidation if it should come;
to know challenges make bonds stronger;
to feel comfort in all my days;
to know she is his.
Things couldn't be stranger
-Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
-A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
-A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
-Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
-The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." There was never a recorded Wendy before.
-If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. << lmao i especially like this one.
-Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
-The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. hahahahahaa.
-Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
-Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
-Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
-Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
a mindfuck. a pool floating in a lake.
-A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
-A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
-Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
-The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." There was never a recorded Wendy before.
-If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. << lmao i especially like this one.
-Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
-The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. hahahahahaa.
-Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
-Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
-Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
-Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
a mindfuck. a pool floating in a lake.
Friday
And another one.
What a year...
I've made a lot of great as well as awful decisions over the past 365 days. I've seen a lot of things that have changed my outlook on man kind. I've experienced a lot of things that have altered my feelings on life.
- I have learned who my real friends are...and sadly enough, they are few and far between.
- I have felt my mother's absence the most this year.
- I have found great love. The kind you don't find again.
- I witnessed some incredibly brutal fights that never seemed probable amongst such seemingly harmless young people.
- My fatherly relationship has followed the Bell Curve.
- I've let my body slip through normalcy and perfection.
- Children will be children.
- I got my bird tattoo.
- I got a taste of what it's like to fuck up in school royally.
- I found a job i actually fully enjoy.
- I discovered my true passion(s) in life.
- I remade my home in an unfamiliar place.
- Learned the art of driving.
- I've watched my life crumble.. then be put back together better than before.
- I've seen mad things happen to good people.
IN 2010 > Solid Goals:
- Complete my licensing in Personal Training.
- Find a decent job in the field, regardless of how mediocre it may be at first.
- Do not allow myself to fall behind in school.
- Stop sacrificing my well being for nobodys.
- Resume my love of art history.
- Save a significant amount of money.
- Pay my damned bills on time.
- Buy a joanmobile.
- Be me.
- Write more.
- Read the books i've been meaning to.
And now here are some funnies:
really?
i knew owls were on something
definitely a fail
I've made a lot of great as well as awful decisions over the past 365 days. I've seen a lot of things that have changed my outlook on man kind. I've experienced a lot of things that have altered my feelings on life.
- I have learned who my real friends are...and sadly enough, they are few and far between.
- I have felt my mother's absence the most this year.
- I have found great love. The kind you don't find again.
- I witnessed some incredibly brutal fights that never seemed probable amongst such seemingly harmless young people.
- My fatherly relationship has followed the Bell Curve.
- I've let my body slip through normalcy and perfection.
- Children will be children.
- I got my bird tattoo.
- I got a taste of what it's like to fuck up in school royally.
- I found a job i actually fully enjoy.
- I discovered my true passion(s) in life.
- I remade my home in an unfamiliar place.
- Learned the art of driving.
- I've watched my life crumble.. then be put back together better than before.
- I've seen mad things happen to good people.
IN 2010 > Solid Goals:
- Complete my licensing in Personal Training.
- Find a decent job in the field, regardless of how mediocre it may be at first.
- Do not allow myself to fall behind in school.
- Stop sacrificing my well being for nobodys.
- Resume my love of art history.
- Save a significant amount of money.
- Pay my damned bills on time.
- Buy a joanmobile.
- Be me.
- Write more.
- Read the books i've been meaning to.
And now here are some funnies:
really?
i knew owls were on something
definitely a fail
Sunday
still in progress
Well by golly, if my life is crammed into this then i mid as well jump of a bridge. Ya think?
Shark Terrorist attack?
sure
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