'I Won't Give Up' Jason Mraz cover by Lennon and Maisy Stella

if i die young

This is so sad. A total stranger died and I am so affected by it. Is it my connection to the Glee Club? Is it my past that relates to it? Is it because Corey was a genuine soul and it was so clear that it shined through to his character on Glee? Is it because Corey & Lea were in love for real, and we could all see on and off screen? I don't know why exactly, maybe it's everything all at once... but this hits in me such a way that I've never felt for a celebrity. Michael Jackson was a close second, I remember balling my eyes out at his remembrance ceremony... but this, this entire episode honoring Corey was literally a cry fest. I don't care for anyone's judgement because I cried for an hour straight for a man I never knew nor met. I did it, and I shed many more tears than just that hour. God, this poor man.. he was happy, he had all he wanted, and yet... addiction was just under the surface and no one really saw it coming. He hid it well.

I am so sorry Lea. You are deeply a strong woman. I want your strength and ability to move forward. I know you are a wreck on the inside, most likely completely demolished... but you did it and trudged along. You are a rare gem among cheap rocks.

Jack White - Love Interruption

sole bear

once

Lana Del Rey - Chelsea Hotel No 2

Kurt and Blaine

Just watched the season opener of Glee. I think some of the song choices aren't great... admittadly, I fast forward through maybe half of the excessive crap, BUT, the really really REALLY reallllllly excellent, 1 out of 10 performances, make up for all the other mildly tolerable parts.

I'm specifically talking about MOST finales or episodes, finales as in the last song performed at the end of an ep. On this opening ep, they did a spectacular rendition of "All you Need is Love" by the Beatles. I have a weakness for bringing together characters who have grown into separate arcs and sub-plots within one major song and dance performance, and lucky for me, that's exactly what they did. I also have a love/hate relationship with on-screen relationships that that end but drag on and on and on because of the question of "will they or won't they get back together?" I understand the writer's choice of dragging these things on, obviously it keeps us interested, wondering, guessing, hoping, probably rooting for them to reunite. It's human nature to want to calm the storm. It's a great trick for long running tv shows to keep the audience's attention. I'm ok with it. Most people are ok with it. It's a thing. I get it.

But after many, MANY long episodes filled with Blaine pining for Kurt and feeling so distraught over his mistakes....it's really, really wonderful to see them reunite, even if all of it is completely scripted and fake... it lets us live in this world that we always forget isn't real... but that's what art is, what acting is, what music is, we find ourselves in this place that we truly believe we are living within. It's a good thing. It enhances us in a way. I'm trying to find the right words to put it but I'm distracted by the Parks and Recreation that's on pause right now and the fact that  I have to go help a friend move, but regardless, you get it.

Blaine proposed to Kurt and it was great. It was sweet, perfectly worded, perfectly presented, and after much agony and despair between them, they finally reconciled. Good for you Kurt and Blaine.
Good for you.

HAERTS - All the Days

I feel this.

What is this life but one fleeting ache into another
Cut with sweetness like the bitter morning coffee
Fragrant and enticing
A haunting search for ground
An ecstatic blow to rebuild again 

JoJo Performs 'Houstatlantavegas' + 'Marvin's Room' for Rap-Up Sessions

Colin Munroe ft. Drake - Cannonball

ADELE - 'Make You Feel My Love'

Cults - You Know What I Mean

Really love this song. Really do.

We lose our selves at night, do we not?
I find myself in the light again.

real life

things money cannot buy

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same
hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an
hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from
his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on
his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their
homes, their jobs, their involvement in the
military service, where they had been on
vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the
window could sit up, he would pass the time by
describing to his roommate all the things he could
see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those
one hour periods where his world would be
broadened and enlivened by all the activity and
colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while
children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour
and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen
in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in
exquisite details, the man on the other side of
the room would close his eyes and imagine this
picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window
described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band -
he could see it in his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring
water for their baths only to find the lifeless body
of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man
asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and
after making sure he was comfortable, she left
him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one
elbow to take his first look at the real world
outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window
besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had
described such wonderful things outside this
window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and
could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage
you.'

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others
happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness
when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The
Present .' 

come here please

Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness

Wildwood Flower

How I long to see you and regret the dark hour, your pale wildwood flower. 

Corinthians

Love suffers long, and is kind.
It is not proud.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
and endures all things.
Love never fails.
And now these three remain, faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these,
is love. 

My dreams

space

We don't need to talk much, we just need to exist happily in the same space. I think that's what it's about.

Ellie Goulding - High For This (The Weeknd Cover)

Bring it on home to me - Sam Cooke

Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful

Corinthians

Love suffers long, and is kind.
It is not proud.
Love bears all hings,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
and endures all things.
Love never fails.
And now these three remain, faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these,
is love.

Beautiful work

Work places are beautiful and bizzare and lovely. My job is a blessing. It teaches me how to live, enhances my freedom, and provides me with a real fun. 

perfect

fireworks.

The title

I'm wondering why I am this way...too independent, too about me and what I want. If I feel guilt, am I wrong? Or maybe I need an affirmation that this is right. I've always felt like this kind of life fits into the very particular and unique key hole of who I am... I wanted to get to this for so long, and when I did... it felt almost perfect. The slight doubt that caused the "almost" was caused by disagreement or misunderstanding from others. It held me back dimly but enough for me to periodically notice. I hate it. I hate not knowing what is right. Who knows what's right? Who can I ask? Who can tell me or show me signs? Like, it's not like I can't fall under the same ways of the majority because I easily can, I just won't be happy. I'll feel unsettled, uncomfortable, like I've lost myself. I know this because I have tried but discontinued because I, of course, have been blessed with free will. The fact that I'm even writing this is horrifying to me because I'm exposing parts of myself that I don't like showing... the weak part, the one that doubts and is confused and needs the confirmation from the world that I'm okay, that what I'm doing is okay...that it's all okay.

elsie and jeremy larson

Summer Lovin'

instagram photo

http://instagram.com/p/a1WMEGOSkh/

like dat photo

life is too short

"Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark."

-The Dame

Summer

Tomorrow is the Summer Solstice. Summer has always had a special place in my life. I think it's the first love I've really felt. I mean, I know I have parents. I love them. I will speak of them later on...but Summer, it took me and never let me go. It picked me up, guided me, filled my soul with a feeling I am sure can only be love and burning adoration.

The first real Summer I enjoyed was in the 2008. My Father had gone away to Romania, I was left with 300 dollars, an empty home and complete freedom. I was frightened and excited and happy all at once. The beginnings of adulthood and first experiences began that Summer. My bike was my method of travel. I didn't really see it as transportation though, it was like liberation... it was my method to my madness, the paved road to places I felt an insanely possessive desire to visit. All I wanted to feel like was to feel alive..and like i'm someone, a bicycle helped alleviate that hankering wanting. 

Being on the bike, riding it at night, letting it wisp me away in any direction, feeling the cool wind among the envelopment of Summer warmth, getting lost without worry... the loveliness and purity of it all was arresting and spectacular. 

My awareness of my surroundings and accepting them without needing interpretation... just acceptance as a thing of beauty was a way of existence I adopted organically--it had happened without awareness; it felt as if it had been a part me always. It is a prime example of when change is good and wonderful in all its mysterious presence.

To think that a bicycle sort of fueled all these internal changes is a bit odd and I know it but I don't care. The ability to go from place to place is magical to me. I find whatever I find to be beautiful because it feels natural to me and that is how I lead my life. 

-----

My Summer continued onto a sea of beach visits, falling in love with the ocean, filling pages with poems and observations and learning about myself. Summer had blessed me and shown me beauty, she showed me love, she showed me life.