For all but one.

I'm tired, and fed up, and disgusted, and sad, and disappointed all at once. I didn't think I'd have the capacity to reach this point, but I have, and in more ways than not, I'm glad I feel this.

My heartbeat shoots through to over 150 as I read and see things that I've seen repeatedly for years and yet, I'm managed to actively suppress the and in turn, saturate my mind with what I want it to think but not what it should be thinking. The truth peeked out, like a kitten slowly creeping from behind my bed... but when I spot, it hides into a place I can't seem to retrieve... so i just go on into the darkness, dimly aware of where I'm going, more so lost, occasionally slamming into walls. What have I done to myself? What have I done to what I've firmly believe before this? Destroyed it, discarded of it, and lost it.

I go through moments of strength, fear, sureness, doubt, confusion, sadness, anger, disgust... I just want to stick with one but it just isn't seem to be working out so I mid as well just go with what I know I have to do.

I wish it wouldn't have to be this way. I wish I could've proven the fact of it wrong, I wish it could have resulted into something eternal.

I'm sorry that it's ruined, I'm sorry you let it perish.You must live with your mistakes and what you are bound to lose.

It is toxic beyond any chemical classification.