Sunday
Create the fate of other beings.
I was going through old writing and I found this. This was my first blog post here.
I was skimming it and deemed it as something i borrowed from someone else but then I realized, I WROTE THIS...and it's incredible. I remember when and where I wrote it too, which is something I've very glad to be capable of. I was on the J train at around 8pm, was listening to Luca by Brand New, and that's the day I last listened to a song by Eyedea & Abilities that I cant bring myself to hear all the way through.
This writing is quite beautiful, much more beautiful than anything I've written recently. It's genuinely stream of consciousness, I remember what everything was about, what every line referenced...i didn't think anything 100% through but it somehow flowed seamlessly.
My greatest fear is not letting myself in.
Recognizing water lilies and hallow apples is how I begin the day.
i won't see love till summer; my only consolation is your embrace.
Jesus Christ, the only thing that will wash out my memories of you are heavy nails and strong knees.
Endurance is the game I play.
Can't you see they sleep in the same bed with guns to each others heads.
One day he'll murder her as Hamlet's father took his last breath.
Coke can't save the requiem for a dream.
I would love to one day play with crack in the sky at a quarter past four in the morning.
SoCo Amaretto Lime is my favorite drink.
The horrifying vastness of the ocean churns with ominous messages that only Thomas can recognize.
The wrong words will cause the vessel to crash in Donnie's bedroom.
Donnie shot Frank the bunny in the eye and then later let the vessel murder him to save Gretchen.
It's what he wanted and what the portal allowed him.
Time travel is possible.
Who is the one that haunts my dreams of mountains sunk below the sea?
He's never gonna get it right.
What is most fleeting emotion?
The aeroplane flying over the sea crashes into a cloud.
I think being afraid makes me more human.
I'd rather be blue than have no pulse.
I'll never crave the touch of cold.
I'll sow the seeds and grow tomatoes for my neighbor but it don't mean a thing if he ain't got that sugar.
Why can't Hamlet be a woman instead?
Does it really last?
Can a psychiatrist and patient switch roles and blur the lines between disturbed and stable?
What would we do if it rained frogs?
Are there really nines who preside over fives and sixes?
Is there a place where only people who committed suicide go?
Is it a matter of saving or sin?
Couples who last a life time fall in love with each other an average of six times over the course of their relationship.
Does all of our art create the fate of other beings?
Does a stroke cause a stride?
Mind has been blown
I was skimming it and deemed it as something i borrowed from someone else but then I realized, I WROTE THIS...and it's incredible. I remember when and where I wrote it too, which is something I've very glad to be capable of. I was on the J train at around 8pm, was listening to Luca by Brand New, and that's the day I last listened to a song by Eyedea & Abilities that I cant bring myself to hear all the way through.
This writing is quite beautiful, much more beautiful than anything I've written recently. It's genuinely stream of consciousness, I remember what everything was about, what every line referenced...i didn't think anything 100% through but it somehow flowed seamlessly.
My greatest fear is not letting myself in.
Recognizing water lilies and hallow apples is how I begin the day.
i won't see love till summer; my only consolation is your embrace.
Jesus Christ, the only thing that will wash out my memories of you are heavy nails and strong knees.
Endurance is the game I play.
Can't you see they sleep in the same bed with guns to each others heads.
One day he'll murder her as Hamlet's father took his last breath.
Coke can't save the requiem for a dream.
I would love to one day play with crack in the sky at a quarter past four in the morning.
SoCo Amaretto Lime is my favorite drink.
The horrifying vastness of the ocean churns with ominous messages that only Thomas can recognize.
The wrong words will cause the vessel to crash in Donnie's bedroom.
Donnie shot Frank the bunny in the eye and then later let the vessel murder him to save Gretchen.
It's what he wanted and what the portal allowed him.
Time travel is possible.
Who is the one that haunts my dreams of mountains sunk below the sea?
He's never gonna get it right.
What is most fleeting emotion?
The aeroplane flying over the sea crashes into a cloud.
I think being afraid makes me more human.
I'd rather be blue than have no pulse.
I'll never crave the touch of cold.
I'll sow the seeds and grow tomatoes for my neighbor but it don't mean a thing if he ain't got that sugar.
Why can't Hamlet be a woman instead?
Does it really last?
Can a psychiatrist and patient switch roles and blur the lines between disturbed and stable?
What would we do if it rained frogs?
Are there really nines who preside over fives and sixes?
Is there a place where only people who committed suicide go?
Is it a matter of saving or sin?
Couples who last a life time fall in love with each other an average of six times over the course of their relationship.
Does all of our art create the fate of other beings?
Does a stroke cause a stride?
Mind has been blown
the logistics of nostalgia.
I'm not one to verbally dwell upon the past. In my mind, well, surprisingly not that often either. I'm too busy living in the present, that's the only way I can sustain my happiness, it has sufficed for almost 23 years.
This isn't about any thing, any event, any person. This is simply my way or compacting it and putting it away in its respective filing cabinet in my mind.
To every person that I knowingly have ever torn apart, to any person I've done wrong upon without any deserving purpose, to any friend I have abandoned to pursue the wrong ones, to the objects of meaning that I've carelessly lost in the past, to the extended family I never really had, to my mother and father, to the teachers I didn't care to listen to when they told me I had what it takes to pursue what I deserved, to the events I didn't attend in dismay of others, to the music I never gave a chance, to the classes I've never attended, to the days I wasted by not noticing that the sun is shining and the world is still in its wonderful equilibrium, to the nature I hated with incredible passion as a child but now crave...
In this very moment, sorry will never suffice. I've become a different person that wouldn't dare repeat those mistakes. Perhaps, all of the previously mentioned things are normal to experience and to remember them as I do now and can never dare to forget...but really, I don't think they are. It's not the events, people and things themselves...it's how I react to them and perceive them. I don't see them as others would and honestly, I prefer as I do. Superficiality and indifference is a plague amongst young people who've experienced more than they'd like to admit.
Sidenote: I'm terrible with negative nostalgia. When something reminds me of a bad memory, an especially bad one...it's annoyingly difficult to rid myself of the thought. It's especially hard for me for reasons I cannot exactly pinpoint. I think it's just me and how I am. I think I have this elevated psychological ability to see myself externally and figure out precisely what the issue is. I can analyze it and figure out why I'm feeling like that but, I can't stop it. I have absolutely zero power against it and that right there, is terrible in the worst ways. I suppose it's the imbalance in my reaction to such nostalgia; perhaps my elevated ability to analyze the event significantly takes away from the possibility of diminishing it. Whatever it is, I'm aware of all of it...and that's one of things I enjoy about myself.
Sometimes, such events are extremely fleeting and almost go unnoticed; it's almost like clock-work.
This isn't about any thing, any event, any person. This is simply my way or compacting it and putting it away in its respective filing cabinet in my mind.
To every person that I knowingly have ever torn apart, to any person I've done wrong upon without any deserving purpose, to any friend I have abandoned to pursue the wrong ones, to the objects of meaning that I've carelessly lost in the past, to the extended family I never really had, to my mother and father, to the teachers I didn't care to listen to when they told me I had what it takes to pursue what I deserved, to the events I didn't attend in dismay of others, to the music I never gave a chance, to the classes I've never attended, to the days I wasted by not noticing that the sun is shining and the world is still in its wonderful equilibrium, to the nature I hated with incredible passion as a child but now crave...
In this very moment, sorry will never suffice. I've become a different person that wouldn't dare repeat those mistakes. Perhaps, all of the previously mentioned things are normal to experience and to remember them as I do now and can never dare to forget...but really, I don't think they are. It's not the events, people and things themselves...it's how I react to them and perceive them. I don't see them as others would and honestly, I prefer as I do. Superficiality and indifference is a plague amongst young people who've experienced more than they'd like to admit.
Sidenote: I'm terrible with negative nostalgia. When something reminds me of a bad memory, an especially bad one...it's annoyingly difficult to rid myself of the thought. It's especially hard for me for reasons I cannot exactly pinpoint. I think it's just me and how I am. I think I have this elevated psychological ability to see myself externally and figure out precisely what the issue is. I can analyze it and figure out why I'm feeling like that but, I can't stop it. I have absolutely zero power against it and that right there, is terrible in the worst ways. I suppose it's the imbalance in my reaction to such nostalgia; perhaps my elevated ability to analyze the event significantly takes away from the possibility of diminishing it. Whatever it is, I'm aware of all of it...and that's one of things I enjoy about myself.
Sometimes, such events are extremely fleeting and almost go unnoticed; it's almost like clock-work.
Authenticity vs. Originality.
"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic.
Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don't bother concealing your thievery--celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc said: 'It's not where you take things from-it's where you take them to.'"
Sunset
Edward Hopper
Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don't bother concealing your thievery--celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc said: 'It's not where you take things from-it's where you take them to.'"
Sunset
Edward Hopper
Saturday
Top ten myths of Introverts.
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
These are all me. It's insane.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
These are all me. It's insane.
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