Happy New Year to all living beings.
And to my mother.
Friday
Ultimately.
Everyone matters.
That person sitting across you on the train reading your favorite book, that person has a life. That person is in love or has loved. That person has a mother and a father and THEY themselves have a story. That person has dreams, they feel, they've thought of things that maybe you never have.
Your co-worker, your neighbor, your boss, your cousin, the creep always waiting for the same bus, your best friend; everyone. They all matter. Do not disregard them.
Think of everything that makes your life. No one knows how much little things make my life. Think about it, life is one big giant bubble--similar to the universe because they're physically directly relevant. Inside is everything...every single little thing that leads to the next thing and the next thing and they're getting exponentially bigger until it reaches the outer bubble of life.
Look at our universe....look at everything inside it and how everything matters to the next small thing and ultimately the whole universe.
This is my opinion. Mine.
That person sitting across you on the train reading your favorite book, that person has a life. That person is in love or has loved. That person has a mother and a father and THEY themselves have a story. That person has dreams, they feel, they've thought of things that maybe you never have.
Your co-worker, your neighbor, your boss, your cousin, the creep always waiting for the same bus, your best friend; everyone. They all matter. Do not disregard them.
Think of everything that makes your life. No one knows how much little things make my life. Think about it, life is one big giant bubble--similar to the universe because they're physically directly relevant. Inside is everything...every single little thing that leads to the next thing and the next thing and they're getting exponentially bigger until it reaches the outer bubble of life.
Look at our universe....look at everything inside it and how everything matters to the next small thing and ultimately the whole universe.
This is my opinion. Mine.
lesson
I believe in some supplements like fish oil or St. John's Wort. I think they gradually alter chemical imbalaces to their normal state...slowly but surely.
I take Valerian Root on occasion.. It's a sleep supplement that helps you drift off. I like Valerian Root (which is also infused with Hops) for two reasons:
1. It has zero addictive nature; prescribed drugs such as Zoloft disturb your natural sleep pattern (yes, everyone has one...even if you think your cycle is all wacked out..it's still YOUR cycle). Once you start taking prescribed ones, the abilitiy to fall asleep naturally is lost because this is forcing you to sleep and stay asleep for 8 hours. So essentially, your circadian rhythm becomes Zoloft's sleep cycle, not yours.
2. Valerian Root (Hops) has ingredients that would surprise you...especially in regard to their relevance to assistance in falling asleep.
It contains: Valerian Root (obviously...it's just a plant, just like weed... HINT TO THE government,.....moving right along)
Skullcap (certain plant leaves)
Passion Flower (the same flower used to make passion tea in starbucks but without caffiene)
Dandelion (yup, dandelions)
Chamomile (most effective tea for the common cold and relaxation)
Marshmellows (just, marshmellows)
Hawthorn (berry)
ALL NATURAL.
Just saying...
After doing some research.
I take Valerian Root on occasion.. It's a sleep supplement that helps you drift off. I like Valerian Root (which is also infused with Hops) for two reasons:
1. It has zero addictive nature; prescribed drugs such as Zoloft disturb your natural sleep pattern (yes, everyone has one...even if you think your cycle is all wacked out..it's still YOUR cycle). Once you start taking prescribed ones, the abilitiy to fall asleep naturally is lost because this is forcing you to sleep and stay asleep for 8 hours. So essentially, your circadian rhythm becomes Zoloft's sleep cycle, not yours.
2. Valerian Root (Hops) has ingredients that would surprise you...especially in regard to their relevance to assistance in falling asleep.
It contains: Valerian Root (obviously...it's just a plant, just like weed... HINT TO THE government,.....moving right along)
Skullcap (certain plant leaves)
Passion Flower (the same flower used to make passion tea in starbucks but without caffiene)
Dandelion (yup, dandelions)
Chamomile (most effective tea for the common cold and relaxation)
Marshmellows (just, marshmellows)
Hawthorn (berry)
ALL NATURAL.
Just saying...
After doing some research.
Thursday
now
At the moment,
I'm having an allergic reaction to accidentally consuming sour cream. Yes, I'm allergic. I think it's about 3am...the hour which nobody would pick up. Usually, I just get little bumps on my cheeks and that's all. But right now, it's my entire face. I have to admit, my reflection scares me. Lucky for me, I have a bottle of ibuprofin that my father said is filled with benadryl. It better me. By the time anybody reads this, let's hope my face is oval shaped.
I'm having an allergic reaction to accidentally consuming sour cream. Yes, I'm allergic. I think it's about 3am...the hour which nobody would pick up. Usually, I just get little bumps on my cheeks and that's all. But right now, it's my entire face. I have to admit, my reflection scares me. Lucky for me, I have a bottle of ibuprofin that my father said is filled with benadryl. It better me. By the time anybody reads this, let's hope my face is oval shaped.
Monday
Sunday
Saturday
Mary Elizabeth Frye : A Poem.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
Sunday
fYI.
OH YEAH RANDOM INTERNET BLOGGER?
James Franco went to Brooklyn College for most of his educational career. Don't neglect the CUNY's....they're damn good schools, well, most of them.
Saturday
Irina.
I got a Christmas card in the mail from my mom's old Boss' daughter. It was addressed just to me. I don't know how she knew I live here again but I love that I got something in the mail that isn't bill.
She's grown, probably 38. Two little kids that are both models. I remember when those kids couldn't even walk yet.
I used to stay over her house in Staten Island because she was the closest thing to a mother, even though she was way too young to be my mother. I told her things I never told anyone. It's strange how I can forget these things for years and remember it now, when I'm almost 22. I like that she didn't forget me, and I know this isn't a generic card because there's a long message inside hand written for me.
I used to think Staten Island was some sort of paradise when I was little...like an exclusive club for super opulent people. I was weird.
She lives in a closed off community where everyone knows each other, and everyone owns a Bentley. I mean, that's awesome to be in temporarily. I couldn't live there. It's too.....isolated. But she was so wonderful to me. Now that I'm older and more aware, I should speak to her again. I miss her. And her crazy Italian husband Vinnie who swings from doorways just because it makes his kids laugh. I think she was the coolest Romanian woman I met. She was like me when she young.
She's grown, probably 38. Two little kids that are both models. I remember when those kids couldn't even walk yet.
I used to stay over her house in Staten Island because she was the closest thing to a mother, even though she was way too young to be my mother. I told her things I never told anyone. It's strange how I can forget these things for years and remember it now, when I'm almost 22. I like that she didn't forget me, and I know this isn't a generic card because there's a long message inside hand written for me.
I used to think Staten Island was some sort of paradise when I was little...like an exclusive club for super opulent people. I was weird.
She lives in a closed off community where everyone knows each other, and everyone owns a Bentley. I mean, that's awesome to be in temporarily. I couldn't live there. It's too.....isolated. But she was so wonderful to me. Now that I'm older and more aware, I should speak to her again. I miss her. And her crazy Italian husband Vinnie who swings from doorways just because it makes his kids laugh. I think she was the coolest Romanian woman I met. She was like me when she young.
Friday
Thoughts
Some thoughts.
I was getting off the train and a blind man asked where Union Square, 14th street. I told him this was Union and he said OH, where are the stairs? I showed where they were and followed him up the stairs. He was going straight towards the mall after that so I directed him towards the stairs until he could manage on his own.
This elerdly man, this complete stranger who appeared to be beautifully dressed is blind. Why him? I'm not aware of how his blindness developed, all I know is that this is his life; this is what he has to revolve his whole world around, his lack of sight. I can't even begin to fathom the perils of no sight and meanwhile, this man is just happy.
This man has reason to suffer beyond recognition and yet he's trustworthy of a stranger: me, and just genuinely happy. What about all the petty things people tend to stress? Are they even worth stressing? I admit, I'm guilty of this myself but who isn't?
This man just made me strangely aware of how dire sheer happiness is. We can't ever forget that all we know is this life we're in. There's millions of theories of the afterlife, of God(s), of reincarnation, of everything that we only theorize about but are never really sure about, but what about this life? I know what how I want to spend my life and what I want to pursue and what people I want to surround myseld by, and just be content with what I have now.
A friend of mine lost someone important. Whoever reads this, wether you're in Russia in or Alaska or right up my block...hope for the for this person, regardless of the fact that you don't know them. Blind faith and hope sometimes can do more than you know.
The year is coming to end. I think I've had a crazy but great year. I looked forward to this year ever since I discovered alcohol and other things. I have the rest of my life to do what I missed out this year but I still think i experienced a lot and learned a lot. I love my work and I'm extremely happy I've gotten this far.
Love is amazing thing. In all facets.
I was getting off the train and a blind man asked where Union Square, 14th street. I told him this was Union and he said OH, where are the stairs? I showed where they were and followed him up the stairs. He was going straight towards the mall after that so I directed him towards the stairs until he could manage on his own.
This elerdly man, this complete stranger who appeared to be beautifully dressed is blind. Why him? I'm not aware of how his blindness developed, all I know is that this is his life; this is what he has to revolve his whole world around, his lack of sight. I can't even begin to fathom the perils of no sight and meanwhile, this man is just happy.
This man has reason to suffer beyond recognition and yet he's trustworthy of a stranger: me, and just genuinely happy. What about all the petty things people tend to stress? Are they even worth stressing? I admit, I'm guilty of this myself but who isn't?
This man just made me strangely aware of how dire sheer happiness is. We can't ever forget that all we know is this life we're in. There's millions of theories of the afterlife, of God(s), of reincarnation, of everything that we only theorize about but are never really sure about, but what about this life? I know what how I want to spend my life and what I want to pursue and what people I want to surround myseld by, and just be content with what I have now.
A friend of mine lost someone important. Whoever reads this, wether you're in Russia in or Alaska or right up my block...hope for the for this person, regardless of the fact that you don't know them. Blind faith and hope sometimes can do more than you know.
The year is coming to end. I think I've had a crazy but great year. I looked forward to this year ever since I discovered alcohol and other things. I have the rest of my life to do what I missed out this year but I still think i experienced a lot and learned a lot. I love my work and I'm extremely happy I've gotten this far.
Love is amazing thing. In all facets.
Thursday
Tuesday
Saturday
Friday
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