The title

I'm wondering why I am this way...too independent, too about me and what I want. If I feel guilt, am I wrong? Or maybe I need an affirmation that this is right. I've always felt like this kind of life fits into the very particular and unique key hole of who I am... I wanted to get to this for so long, and when I did... it felt almost perfect. The slight doubt that caused the "almost" was caused by disagreement or misunderstanding from others. It held me back dimly but enough for me to periodically notice. I hate it. I hate not knowing what is right. Who knows what's right? Who can I ask? Who can tell me or show me signs? Like, it's not like I can't fall under the same ways of the majority because I easily can, I just won't be happy. I'll feel unsettled, uncomfortable, like I've lost myself. I know this because I have tried but discontinued because I, of course, have been blessed with free will. The fact that I'm even writing this is horrifying to me because I'm exposing parts of myself that I don't like showing... the weak part, the one that doubts and is confused and needs the confirmation from the world that I'm okay, that what I'm doing is okay...that it's all okay.