Documentations of my life.

I had a very different life when I started writing this blog. I made the mistake of deleting posts that were relevant to my past life out of anger and bitterness.. certainly shouldn't have have done that. When I was a young teenager, I set out to document and remember the timeline of my line in the form of writing, as ambiguous and mysterious as it is, as well as photographs which I've definitely succeeded in, so far.

The act of actually going to particular posts, and henceforth deleting them is such a horrifyingly violent act... I get angrier at myself just thinking that I dared do such a thing. It's equivalent to removing those memories and permanently discarding of them... the words I wrote in those moments, at the height of my feelings towards whatever was going on at the time... to actively make the disappear is just so awful. I wish I had never done that.

I wrote something terribly brilliant on the train back to Queens in late January of 2009, I was at the height of something great in my life and I luckily had my laptop with me so i proceeded to write down exactly how I felt towards certain things in my life at that moment. It was incredibly. I wrote the greatest thing I could ever remember to come out of my mind. I wish I could remember what I wrote.

For a further explanation: the reason for my wanting to document my life is that I tend to forget things easily, not purposefully... it's just, my mind seems to be a sieve and I could never understand why but alas, I found a remedy... a reason for my wanting to document things. So I can reread them, so I can look at the photographs, and thus recall what had happened on that day. This is my mechanism, my found method... and I'm sure millions of people do the same thing. This works for me, and I see no fault in it.