Thursday
The winter of life.
"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”
The Winter of the Air
The Winter of the Air
Tuesday
Saturday
The things we want.
Lately, I've been having a lot of retrospective, out-of-body exterior type moments; I'm pretty sure it's the weather getting warmer and closer to when I feel the most alive (and strangely enough, lonely): Summer... I could be wrong though... no one knows for sure why things happen.. it's all speculation.
There's tons of new changes and experiences I've had as of late. When I think of them in passing, i'm not convinced they're anything significant but when I let the reality of them sink in... I come to the realization that they ARE significant and that they're good for me. There's been a job that has come and go so quickly that I can't really believe I ever really worked in such a environment. When you're in it, they make it seem like it's completely acceptable to sell your soul to complete strangers. When you're out of it... you shed the layer of superficiality. I do... I don't think they do. I think they live in it and I pity them.
Why do we care so much about things? About gadgets getting smaller and smaller with more and more functionalities? We have forgotten to communicate with a buffer, without the permission from a small device allowing us a distance we wouldn't have fathomed 60 years ago. It's fucking frightening.
--
I want just a couple of achievements in life, nothing grandiose, nothing extremely spectacular. Just enough success to be able to buy food to eat for myself, a cat, and a man, I hope, for a small home in a cute town, and that's all. I don't care about a car, about fancy tv's, about necklaces and rings. I don't think I ever have. I just want a little success. I'm solely responsible for my success and I intent to achieve it.
I would like love. Pure and simple, I just wish it can ever be pure and simple.
There's tons of new changes and experiences I've had as of late. When I think of them in passing, i'm not convinced they're anything significant but when I let the reality of them sink in... I come to the realization that they ARE significant and that they're good for me. There's been a job that has come and go so quickly that I can't really believe I ever really worked in such a environment. When you're in it, they make it seem like it's completely acceptable to sell your soul to complete strangers. When you're out of it... you shed the layer of superficiality. I do... I don't think they do. I think they live in it and I pity them.
Why do we care so much about things? About gadgets getting smaller and smaller with more and more functionalities? We have forgotten to communicate with a buffer, without the permission from a small device allowing us a distance we wouldn't have fathomed 60 years ago. It's fucking frightening.
--
I want just a couple of achievements in life, nothing grandiose, nothing extremely spectacular. Just enough success to be able to buy food to eat for myself, a cat, and a man, I hope, for a small home in a cute town, and that's all. I don't care about a car, about fancy tv's, about necklaces and rings. I don't think I ever have. I just want a little success. I'm solely responsible for my success and I intent to achieve it.
I would like love. Pure and simple, I just wish it can ever be pure and simple.
That is all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
